The wee hours of morning today I received the news of Death of beloved younger brother of my father (simply put “chitappa” in Tamil). As I have been brought up under circumstance which resembles a “joint family”, from a very young age I have been exposed to many deaths in immediate circles. As someone who trying to practice the Sanatana Dharma way of life, few questions about death and grieving comes to my mind. I am trying to capture those in this blog.
1. Concept of Death -
We are living in the age of science. One of the critical attributes of this age is the ability to define precisely everything. This search of precise definition now starts manifesting in different ways in the society. Legal, Medical, Forensic, Philosophical and Social definition of death can be very different in different countries or cultures. With the advancement of science, the possibility of recovering human thought and personality results in cryogenic preservation of the biological body emerges. Thus death definition would require relook as an individual can pass rights / obligations to one’s own new physical body which would possess the transferred thoughts / personality. The idea to prolong life using modern sciences attains significance in the backdrop of Judeo-Christian philosophy of eternal bliss / hell on death. Every human being would like to prolong the stay in earth and defer suffering consequences.
I now explore the significance of concept of death under the Sanatana Dharma Philisophy. At the core of Sanatana Philosophy is cycle of Life. Every sentient being is subject to circle of birth, death and rebirth. Deeds of one lifetime would impact the situation in rebirth. Thus sentient life has a shot at redemption. Such a philosophy makes accepting death easier. I would like to specifically draw attention to the “Mahamritunjay Mantra” often recited in the time of disease / death. This mantra has been extensively used in movies / books and inappropriately explained as a mantra to conquer disease / death. The Mantra is captured below:
ॐ त्र्यम्बकं यजामहे सुगन्धिं पुष्टिवर्धनम् | उर्वारुकमिव बन्धनान्मृत्योर्मुक्षीय माऽमृतात् ||
The mantra loosely would mean:
We worship the three-eyed One, who is fragrant and who nourishes all. Like the fruit falls off from the bondage of the stem, may we be liberated from death, from mortality.
The prayer is not seeking cure / safety from disease or death. It only seeks liberation from the fear of death. As humans, if we stop fearing death and realize that our current deeds would be relevant in the larger circle of life, we would be truly free to act as per conscience. This is also a reason to examine the depth of the “Ashrama” concept of life. Post certain age, humans are encouraged to undertake “vanaprasthasram”. This would ensure all the legal / medical / social issues around death are addressed without much problem as death is inconsequential.
2. Concept of Grieving:
Multiple experiences over the years of seeing death in close quarters, has made my grieving process easier from the point of ability to continue performing various activities. It has made me realize that life for everyone continues and each one has to find meaning in continued existence despite death of loved one’s. Grieving as a process is ideal to ponder and find such a meaning. It would be extremely unhealthy, if grieving is reduced to just expression of sadness and being melancholic about loved one’s death.
I would like to refer to one of J Krishnamurthy’s exchanges on the matter of death of close loved one’s. He articulates that when the person grieving is more concerned about one’s own ability to manage the loss. Such a person is conscious about their own misgivings and is outwardly projecting it on the death of loved one’s. The moment grieving person accepts that death is irretrievable and focusses on finding meaning in his / her own continued existence, sorrows and melancholy would fade away.
I now devote a small section on Sanatana Dharma’s prescription for grieving. There are a series of rituals over 12 days done by first circle of family members ending with a 13th day banquet involving other social acquaintances. A cursory examination by anyone would lead to believe that its ritualistic and waste of resources. I am sharing my interpretation of this process. The 12 days largely involve seclusion of close family members with limited outside intervention. This would give the family members time to recollect their bearings and find meaning in continued existence. It would also help them reminiscence to ensure appropriate vent to pent up feelings. The rituals during this period are symbolically connecting the journey of the soul other world and ability of those grieving to be able to engage in this world in absentia. As a householder the functions of the one departed are through these rituals / banquets reassigned to other surviving members and thus continuity is maintained.
Conclusion:
Death is inevitable and healthy grieving is a good start for those left behind. I find the prescriptions of Sanatana dharma in this regards quite structured and scientific. About death itself, every belief system has its own genesis and relevance. I would like to surely conquer my fear of death and lead a life with the belief that I would not be eternally condemned but surely also not be excused of my misgivings in this life.
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